Let's read the Bible together in the next year. Today our passages Jeremiah 4:19–6:14; Colossians 1:21–2:7; Psalm 77:1-20; and Proverbs 24:23-25. The readings are from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson.
Jeremiah 4:19-6:14 (The Message)
19-21I'm doubled up with cramps in my belly—
a poker burns in my gut.
My insides are tearing me up,
never a moment's peace.
The ram's horn trumpet blast rings in my ears,
the signal for all-out war.
Disaster hard on the heels of disaster,
the whole country in ruins!
In one stroke my home is destroyed,
the walls flattened in the blink of an eye.
How long do I have to look at the warning flares,
listen to the siren of danger?
a poker burns in my gut.
My insides are tearing me up,
never a moment's peace.
The ram's horn trumpet blast rings in my ears,
the signal for all-out war.
Disaster hard on the heels of disaster,
the whole country in ruins!
In one stroke my home is destroyed,
the walls flattened in the blink of an eye.
How long do I have to look at the warning flares,
listen to the siren of danger?
Experts at Evil
22"What fools my people are!
They have no idea who I am.
A company of half-wits,
dopes and donkeys all!
Experts at evil
but klutzes at good." 23-26I looked at the earth—
it was back to pre-Genesis chaos and emptiness.
I looked at the skies,
and not a star to be seen.
I looked at the mountains—
they were trembling like aspen leaves,
And all the hills
rocking back and forth in the wind.
I looked—what's this! Not a man or woman in sight,
and not a bird to be seen in the skies.
I looked—this can't be! Every garden and orchard shriveled up.
All the towns were ghost towns.
And all this because of God,
because of the blazing anger of God.
27-28Yes, this is God's Word on the matter:
"The whole country will be laid waste—
still it won't be the end of the world.
The earth will mourn
and the skies lament
Because I've given my word and won't take it back.
I've decided and won't change my mind."
They have no idea who I am.
A company of half-wits,
dopes and donkeys all!
Experts at evil
but klutzes at good." 23-26I looked at the earth—
it was back to pre-Genesis chaos and emptiness.
I looked at the skies,
and not a star to be seen.
I looked at the mountains—
they were trembling like aspen leaves,
And all the hills
rocking back and forth in the wind.
I looked—what's this! Not a man or woman in sight,
and not a bird to be seen in the skies.
I looked—this can't be! Every garden and orchard shriveled up.
All the towns were ghost towns.
And all this because of God,
because of the blazing anger of God.
27-28Yes, this is God's Word on the matter:
"The whole country will be laid waste—
still it won't be the end of the world.
The earth will mourn
and the skies lament
Because I've given my word and won't take it back.
I've decided and won't change my mind."
You're Not Going to Seduce Anyone
29Someone shouts, "Horsemen and archers!"
and everybody runs for cover.
They hide in ditches,
they climb into caves.
The cities are emptied,
not a person left anywhere. 30-31And you, what do you think you're up to?
Dressing up in party clothes,
Decking yourselves out in jewelry,
putting on lipstick and rouge and mascara!
Your primping goes for nothing.
You're not going to seduce anyone. They're out to kill you!
And what's that I hear? The cry of a woman in labor,
the screams of a mother giving birth to her firstborn.
It's the cry of Daughter Zion, gasping for breath,
reaching out for help:
"Help, oh help me! I'm dying!
The killers are on me!"
and everybody runs for cover.
They hide in ditches,
they climb into caves.
The cities are emptied,
not a person left anywhere. 30-31And you, what do you think you're up to?
Dressing up in party clothes,
Decking yourselves out in jewelry,
putting on lipstick and rouge and mascara!
Your primping goes for nothing.
You're not going to seduce anyone. They're out to kill you!
And what's that I hear? The cry of a woman in labor,
the screams of a mother giving birth to her firstborn.
It's the cry of Daughter Zion, gasping for breath,
reaching out for help:
"Help, oh help me! I'm dying!
The killers are on me!"
Jeremiah 5
Sins Are Piled Sky-High
1-2 "Patrol Jerusalem's streets. Look around. Take note.
Search the market squares.
See if you can find one man, one woman,
A single soul who does what is right
and tries to live a true life.
I want to forgive that person."
God's Decree.
"But if all they do is say, 'As sure as God lives...'
they're nothing but a bunch of liars." 3-6But you, God,
you have an eye for truth, don't you?
You hit them hard, but it didn't faze them.
You disciplined them, but they refused correction.
Hardheaded, harder than rock,
they wouldn't change.
Then I said to myself, "Well, these are just poor people.
They don't know any better.
They were never taught anything about God.
They never went to prayer meetings.
I'll find some people from the best families.
I'll talk to them.
They'll know what's going on, the way God works.
They'll know the score."
But they were no better! Rebels all!
Off doing their own thing.
The invaders are ready to pounce and kill,
like a mountain lion, a wilderness wolf,
Panthers on the prowl.
The streets aren't safe anymore.
And why? Because the people's sins are piled sky-high;
their betrayals are past counting.
7-9"Why should I even bother with you any longer?
Your children wander off, leaving me,
Taking up with gods
that aren't even gods.
I satisfied their deepest needs, and then they went off with the 'sacred' whores,
left me for orgies in sex shrines!
A bunch of well-groomed, lusty stallions,
each one pawing and snorting for his neighbor's wife.
Do you think I'm going to stand around and do nothing?"
God's Decree.
"Don't you think I'll take serious measures
against a people like this?
Search the market squares.
See if you can find one man, one woman,
A single soul who does what is right
and tries to live a true life.
I want to forgive that person."
God's Decree.
"But if all they do is say, 'As sure as God lives...'
they're nothing but a bunch of liars." 3-6But you, God,
you have an eye for truth, don't you?
You hit them hard, but it didn't faze them.
You disciplined them, but they refused correction.
Hardheaded, harder than rock,
they wouldn't change.
Then I said to myself, "Well, these are just poor people.
They don't know any better.
They were never taught anything about God.
They never went to prayer meetings.
I'll find some people from the best families.
I'll talk to them.
They'll know what's going on, the way God works.
They'll know the score."
But they were no better! Rebels all!
Off doing their own thing.
The invaders are ready to pounce and kill,
like a mountain lion, a wilderness wolf,
Panthers on the prowl.
The streets aren't safe anymore.
And why? Because the people's sins are piled sky-high;
their betrayals are past counting.
7-9"Why should I even bother with you any longer?
Your children wander off, leaving me,
Taking up with gods
that aren't even gods.
I satisfied their deepest needs, and then they went off with the 'sacred' whores,
left me for orgies in sex shrines!
A bunch of well-groomed, lusty stallions,
each one pawing and snorting for his neighbor's wife.
Do you think I'm going to stand around and do nothing?"
God's Decree.
"Don't you think I'll take serious measures
against a people like this?
Eyes That Don't Really Look,
Ears That Don't Really Listen 10-11"Go down the rows of vineyards and rip out the vines,
but not all of them. Leave a few.
Prune back those vines!
That growth didn't come from God!
They've betrayed me over and over again,
Judah and Israel both."
God's Decree.
12-13"They've spread lies about God.
They've said, 'There's nothing to him.
Nothing bad will happen to us,
neither famine nor war will come our way.
The prophets are all windbags.
They speak nothing but nonsense.'"
14Therefore, this is what God said to me, God-of-the-Angel-Armies:
"Because they have talked this way,
they are going to eat those words.
Watch now! I'm putting my words
as fire in your mouth.
And the people are a pile of kindling
ready to go up in flames.
15-17"Attention! I'm bringing a far-off nation
against you, O house of Israel."
God's Decree.
"A solid nation,
an ancient nation,
A nation that speaks another language.
You won't understand a word they say.
When they aim their arrows, you're as good as dead.
They're a nation of real fighters!
They'll clean you out of house and home,
rob you of crops and children alike.
They'll feast on your sheep and cattle,
strip your vines and fig trees.
And the fortresses that made you feel so safe—
leveled with a stroke of the sword!
18-19"Even then, as bad as it will be"—God's Decree!—"it will not be the end of the world for you. And when people ask, 'Why did our God do all this to us?' you must say to them, 'It's tit for tat. Just as you left me and served foreign gods in your own country, so now you must serve foreigners in their own country.'
20-25"Tell the house of Jacob this,
put out this bulletin in Judah:
Listen to this,
you scatterbrains, airheads,
With eyes that see but don't really look,
and ears that hear but don't really listen.
Why don't you honor me?
Why aren't you in awe before me?
Yes, me, who made the shorelines
to contain the ocean waters.
I drew a line in the sand
that cannot be crossed.
Waves roll in but cannot get through;
breakers crash but that's the end of them.
But this people—what a people!
Uncontrollable, untameable runaways.
It never occurs to them to say,
'How can we honor our God with our lives,
The God who gives rain in both spring and autumn
and maintains the rhythm of the seasons,
Who sets aside time each year for harvest
and keeps everything running smoothly for us?'
Of course you don't! Your bad behavior blinds you to all this.
Your sins keep my blessings at a distance.
but not all of them. Leave a few.
Prune back those vines!
That growth didn't come from God!
They've betrayed me over and over again,
Judah and Israel both."
God's Decree.
12-13"They've spread lies about God.
They've said, 'There's nothing to him.
Nothing bad will happen to us,
neither famine nor war will come our way.
The prophets are all windbags.
They speak nothing but nonsense.'"
14Therefore, this is what God said to me, God-of-the-Angel-Armies:
"Because they have talked this way,
they are going to eat those words.
Watch now! I'm putting my words
as fire in your mouth.
And the people are a pile of kindling
ready to go up in flames.
15-17"Attention! I'm bringing a far-off nation
against you, O house of Israel."
God's Decree.
"A solid nation,
an ancient nation,
A nation that speaks another language.
You won't understand a word they say.
When they aim their arrows, you're as good as dead.
They're a nation of real fighters!
They'll clean you out of house and home,
rob you of crops and children alike.
They'll feast on your sheep and cattle,
strip your vines and fig trees.
And the fortresses that made you feel so safe—
leveled with a stroke of the sword!
18-19"Even then, as bad as it will be"—God's Decree!—"it will not be the end of the world for you. And when people ask, 'Why did our God do all this to us?' you must say to them, 'It's tit for tat. Just as you left me and served foreign gods in your own country, so now you must serve foreigners in their own country.'
20-25"Tell the house of Jacob this,
put out this bulletin in Judah:
Listen to this,
you scatterbrains, airheads,
With eyes that see but don't really look,
and ears that hear but don't really listen.
Why don't you honor me?
Why aren't you in awe before me?
Yes, me, who made the shorelines
to contain the ocean waters.
I drew a line in the sand
that cannot be crossed.
Waves roll in but cannot get through;
breakers crash but that's the end of them.
But this people—what a people!
Uncontrollable, untameable runaways.
It never occurs to them to say,
'How can we honor our God with our lives,
The God who gives rain in both spring and autumn
and maintains the rhythm of the seasons,
Who sets aside time each year for harvest
and keeps everything running smoothly for us?'
Of course you don't! Your bad behavior blinds you to all this.
Your sins keep my blessings at a distance.
To Stand for Nothing and Stand Up for No One
26-29"My people are infiltrated by wicked men,
unscrupulous men on the hunt.
They set traps for the unsuspecting.
Their victims are innocent men and women.
Their houses are stuffed with ill-gotten gain,
like a hunter's bag full of birds.
Pretentious and powerful and rich,
hugely obese, oily with rolls of fat.
Worse, they have no conscience.
Right and wrong mean nothing to them.
They stand for nothing, stand up for no one,
throw orphans to the wolves, exploit the poor.
Do you think I'll stand by and do nothing about this?"
God's Decree.
"Don't you think I'll take serious measures
against a people like this? 30-31"Unspeakable! Sickening!
What's happened in this country?
Prophets preach lies
and priests hire on as their assistants.
And my people love it. They eat it up!
But what will you do when it's time to pick up the pieces?"
unscrupulous men on the hunt.
They set traps for the unsuspecting.
Their victims are innocent men and women.
Their houses are stuffed with ill-gotten gain,
like a hunter's bag full of birds.
Pretentious and powerful and rich,
hugely obese, oily with rolls of fat.
Worse, they have no conscience.
Right and wrong mean nothing to them.
They stand for nothing, stand up for no one,
throw orphans to the wolves, exploit the poor.
Do you think I'll stand by and do nothing about this?"
God's Decree.
"Don't you think I'll take serious measures
against a people like this? 30-31"Unspeakable! Sickening!
What's happened in this country?
Prophets preach lies
and priests hire on as their assistants.
And my people love it. They eat it up!
But what will you do when it's time to pick up the pieces?"
Jeremiah 6
A City Full of Lies
1-5 "Run for your lives, children of Benjamin! Get out of Jerusalem, and now!
Give a blast on the ram's horn in Blastville.
Send up smoke signals from Smoketown.
Doom pours out of the north—
massive terror!
I have likened my dear daughter Zion
to a lovely meadow.
Well, now 'shepherds' from the north have discovered her
and brought in their flocks of soldiers.
They've pitched camp all around her,
and plan where they'll 'graze.'
And then, 'Prepare to attack! The fight is on!
To arms! We'll strike at noon!
Oh, it's too late? Day is dying?
Evening shadows are upon us?
Well, up anyway! We'll attack by night
and tear apart her defenses stone by stone.'" 6-8God-of-the-Angel-Armies gave the orders:
"Chop down her trees.
Build a siege ramp against Jerusalem,
A city full of brutality,
bursting with violence.
Just as a well holds a good supply of water,
she supplies wickedness nonstop.
The streets echo the cries: 'Violence! Rape!'
Victims, bleeding and moaning, lie all over the place.
You're in deep trouble, Jerusalem.
You've pushed me to the limit.
You're on the brink of being wiped out,
being turned into a ghost town."
9More orders from God-of-the-Angel-Armies:
"Time's up! Harvest the grapes for judgment.
Salvage what's left of Israel.
Go back over the vines.
Pick them clean, every last grape.
Give a blast on the ram's horn in Blastville.
Send up smoke signals from Smoketown.
Doom pours out of the north—
massive terror!
I have likened my dear daughter Zion
to a lovely meadow.
Well, now 'shepherds' from the north have discovered her
and brought in their flocks of soldiers.
They've pitched camp all around her,
and plan where they'll 'graze.'
And then, 'Prepare to attack! The fight is on!
To arms! We'll strike at noon!
Oh, it's too late? Day is dying?
Evening shadows are upon us?
Well, up anyway! We'll attack by night
and tear apart her defenses stone by stone.'" 6-8God-of-the-Angel-Armies gave the orders:
"Chop down her trees.
Build a siege ramp against Jerusalem,
A city full of brutality,
bursting with violence.
Just as a well holds a good supply of water,
she supplies wickedness nonstop.
The streets echo the cries: 'Violence! Rape!'
Victims, bleeding and moaning, lie all over the place.
You're in deep trouble, Jerusalem.
You've pushed me to the limit.
You're on the brink of being wiped out,
being turned into a ghost town."
9More orders from God-of-the-Angel-Armies:
"Time's up! Harvest the grapes for judgment.
Salvage what's left of Israel.
Go back over the vines.
Pick them clean, every last grape.
Is Anybody Listening?
10-11"I've got something to say. Is anybody listening?
I've a warning to post. Will anyone notice?
It's hopeless! Their ears are stuffed with wax—
deaf as a post, blind as a bat.
It's hopeless! They've tuned out God.
They don't want to hear from me.
But I'm bursting with the wrath of God.
I can't hold it in much longer. 11-12"So dump it on the children in the streets.
Let it loose on the gangs of youth.
For no one's exempt: Husbands and wives will be taken,
the old and those ready to die;
Their homes will be given away—
all they own, even their loved ones—
When I give the signal
against all who live in this country."
God's Decree.
13-15"Everyone's after the dishonest dollar,
little people and big people alike.
Prophets and priests and everyone in between
twist words and doctor truth.
My people are broken—shattered!—
and they put on Band-Aids,
Saying, 'It's not so bad. You'll be just fine.'
But things are not 'just fine'!
Do you suppose they are embarrassed
over this outrage?
No, they have no shame.
They don't even know how to blush.
There's no hope for them. They've hit bottom
and there's no getting up.
As far as I'm concerned,
they're finished."
God has spoken.
I've a warning to post. Will anyone notice?
It's hopeless! Their ears are stuffed with wax—
deaf as a post, blind as a bat.
It's hopeless! They've tuned out God.
They don't want to hear from me.
But I'm bursting with the wrath of God.
I can't hold it in much longer. 11-12"So dump it on the children in the streets.
Let it loose on the gangs of youth.
For no one's exempt: Husbands and wives will be taken,
the old and those ready to die;
Their homes will be given away—
all they own, even their loved ones—
When I give the signal
against all who live in this country."
God's Decree.
13-15"Everyone's after the dishonest dollar,
little people and big people alike.
Prophets and priests and everyone in between
twist words and doctor truth.
My people are broken—shattered!—
and they put on Band-Aids,
Saying, 'It's not so bad. You'll be just fine.'
But things are not 'just fine'!
Do you suppose they are embarrassed
over this outrage?
No, they have no shame.
They don't even know how to blush.
There's no hope for them. They've hit bottom
and there's no getting up.
As far as I'm concerned,
they're finished."
God has spoken.
Colossians 1:21-2:7 (The Message)
21-23You yourselves are a case study of what he does. At one time you all had your backs turned to God, thinking rebellious thoughts of him, giving him trouble every chance you got. But now, by giving himself completely at the Cross, actually dying for you, Christ brought you over to God's side and put your lives together, whole and holy in his presence. You don't walk away from a gift like that! You stay grounded and steady in that bond of trust, constantly tuned in to the Message, careful not to be distracted or diverted. There is no other Message—just this one. Every creature under heaven gets this same Message. I, Paul, am a messenger of this Message.
24-25I want you to know how glad I am that it's me sitting here in this jail and not you. There's a lot of suffering to be entered into in this world—the kind of suffering Christ takes on. I welcome the chance to take my share in the church's part of that suffering. When I became a servant in this church, I experienced this suffering as a sheer gift, God's way of helping me serve you, laying out the whole truth.
26-29This mystery has been kept in the dark for a long time, but now it's out in the open. God wanted everyone, not just Jews, to know this rich and glorious secret inside and out, regardless of their background, regardless of their religious standing. The mystery in a nutshell is just this: Christ is in you, so therefore you can look forward to sharing in God's glory. It's that simple. That is the substance of our Message. We preach Christ, warning people not to add to the Message. We teach in a spirit of profound common sense so that we can bring each person to maturity. To be mature is to be basic. Christ! No more, no less. That's what I'm working so hard at day after day, year after year, doing my best with the energy God so generously gives me.
24-25I want you to know how glad I am that it's me sitting here in this jail and not you. There's a lot of suffering to be entered into in this world—the kind of suffering Christ takes on. I welcome the chance to take my share in the church's part of that suffering. When I became a servant in this church, I experienced this suffering as a sheer gift, God's way of helping me serve you, laying out the whole truth.
26-29This mystery has been kept in the dark for a long time, but now it's out in the open. God wanted everyone, not just Jews, to know this rich and glorious secret inside and out, regardless of their background, regardless of their religious standing. The mystery in a nutshell is just this: Christ is in you, so therefore you can look forward to sharing in God's glory. It's that simple. That is the substance of our Message. We preach Christ, warning people not to add to the Message. We teach in a spirit of profound common sense so that we can bring each person to maturity. To be mature is to be basic. Christ! No more, no less. That's what I'm working so hard at day after day, year after year, doing my best with the energy God so generously gives me.
Colossians 2
1 I want you to realize that I continue to work as hard as I know how for you, and also for the Christians over at Laodicea. Not many of you have met me face-to-face, but that doesn't make any difference. Know that I'm on your side, right alongside you. You're not in this alone. 2-4I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God's great mystery. All the richest treasures of wisdom and knowledge are embedded in that mystery and nowhere else. And we've been shown the mystery! I'm telling you this because I don't want anyone leading you off on some wild-goose chase, after other so-called mysteries, or "the Secret."
5I'm a long way off, true, and you may never lay eyes on me, but believe me, I'm on your side, right beside you. I am delighted to hear of the careful and orderly ways you conduct your affairs, and impressed with the solid substance of your faith in Christ.
5I'm a long way off, true, and you may never lay eyes on me, but believe me, I'm on your side, right beside you. I am delighted to hear of the careful and orderly ways you conduct your affairs, and impressed with the solid substance of your faith in Christ.
From the Shadows to the Substance
6-7My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.
Psalm 77:1-20 (The Message)
Psalm 77
An Asaph Psalm
1 I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens.
2-6 I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;
my life was an open wound that wouldn't heal.
When friends said, "Everything will turn out all right,"
I didn't believe a word they said.
I remember God—and shake my head.
I bow my head—then wring my hands.
I'm awake all night—not a wink of sleep;
I can't even say what's bothering me.
I go over the days one by one,
I ponder the years gone by.
I strum my lute all through the night,
wondering how to get my life together.
7-10 Will the Lord walk off and leave us for good?
Will he never smile again?
Is his love worn threadbare?
Has his salvation promise burned out?
Has God forgotten his manners?
Has he angrily stalked off and left us?
"Just my luck," I said. "The High God goes out of business
just the moment I need him."
11-12 Once again I'll go over what God has done,
lay out on the table the ancient wonders;
I'll ponder all the things you've accomplished,
and give a long, loving look at your acts.
13-15 O God! Your way is holy!
No god is great like God!
You're the God who makes things happen;
you showed everyone what you can do—
You pulled your people out of the worst kind of trouble,
rescued the children of Jacob and Joseph.
16-19 Ocean saw you in action, God,
saw you and trembled with fear;
Deep Ocean was scared to death.
Clouds belched buckets of rain,
Sky exploded with thunder,
your arrows flashing this way and that.
From Whirlwind came your thundering voice,
Lightning exposed the world,
Earth reeled and rocked.
You strode right through Ocean,
walked straight through roaring Ocean,
but nobody saw you come or go.
20 Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron,
You led your people like a flock of sheep.
2-6 I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;
my life was an open wound that wouldn't heal.
When friends said, "Everything will turn out all right,"
I didn't believe a word they said.
I remember God—and shake my head.
I bow my head—then wring my hands.
I'm awake all night—not a wink of sleep;
I can't even say what's bothering me.
I go over the days one by one,
I ponder the years gone by.
I strum my lute all through the night,
wondering how to get my life together.
7-10 Will the Lord walk off and leave us for good?
Will he never smile again?
Is his love worn threadbare?
Has his salvation promise burned out?
Has God forgotten his manners?
Has he angrily stalked off and left us?
"Just my luck," I said. "The High God goes out of business
just the moment I need him."
11-12 Once again I'll go over what God has done,
lay out on the table the ancient wonders;
I'll ponder all the things you've accomplished,
and give a long, loving look at your acts.
13-15 O God! Your way is holy!
No god is great like God!
You're the God who makes things happen;
you showed everyone what you can do—
You pulled your people out of the worst kind of trouble,
rescued the children of Jacob and Joseph.
16-19 Ocean saw you in action, God,
saw you and trembled with fear;
Deep Ocean was scared to death.
Clouds belched buckets of rain,
Sky exploded with thunder,
your arrows flashing this way and that.
From Whirlwind came your thundering voice,
Lightning exposed the world,
Earth reeled and rocked.
You strode right through Ocean,
walked straight through roaring Ocean,
but nobody saw you come or go.
20 Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron,
You led your people like a flock of sheep.
Proverbs 24:23-25 (The Message)
More Sayings of the Wise
An Honest Answer
23 It's wrong, very wrong,
to go along with injustice.
24-25 Whoever whitewashes the wicked
gets a black mark in the history books,
But whoever exposes the wicked
will be thanked and rewarded.
to go along with injustice.
24-25 Whoever whitewashes the wicked
gets a black mark in the history books,
But whoever exposes the wicked
will be thanked and rewarded.
“Turn to the LORD! He can still be found. Call out to God! He is near.” (Isaiah 55:6 - Contemporary English Version) God is always close. Regardless of where we are or what's happening around us, he's always just a prayer away.
“Turn to the LORD! He can still be found. Call out to God! He is near.” (Isaiah 55:6 - Contemporary English Version) God is always close. Regardless of where we are or what's happening around us, he's always just a prayer away.
Quote for the Day
Quote for the Day
A Joke for Today
A blonde wanting to earn extra money decided to do odd jobs for her wealthy neighbors. At the first house, the owner said,"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?
"$50" she replies
The man agrees and gives her the paint and brushes and goes back in the house. The man's wife overheard their conversation and asked him if she had realized that the porch goes all around the house. "She should. She was standing on it"
A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You've finished already?" the man asked.
"Yeah, and i had paint left over so I gave two coats."
Impressed the man reaches for the money. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a porch. Its a Lexus."
A Joke for Today
A blonde wanting to earn extra money decided to do odd jobs for her wealthy neighbors. At the first house, the owner said,"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?
"$50" she replies
The man agrees and gives her the paint and brushes and goes back in the house. The man's wife overheard their conversation and asked him if she had realized that the porch goes all around the house. "She should. She was standing on it"
A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You've finished already?" the man asked.
"Yeah, and i had paint left over so I gave two coats."
Impressed the man reaches for the money. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a porch. Its a Lexus."
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