Presbyterian Outlook's Page Turners - A memoir of queer faith and healing 📚

Books for Pride and beyond Dear Outlook Readers, A colleague recently shared with me a camp for LGBTQIA+ youth. Held at a Christian conference center, the camp’s counselors include pastors and church leaders, yet the week does not include faith-based activities. Why? Because, my colleague shared, “We acknowledge the pain and hurt caused by the church to LGBTQIA+ people and support our campers through all of their religious experiences.” This statement hit me like a gut punch — we, the church, have caused a single community enough pain that they want nothing to do with Christ’s church. Offerings like these are just one step toward repair, while our featured book, Conversion Therapy Dropout makes clear that more work lies ahead. Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez served churches and institutions that used him for his digital ministry skills while (at best) insisting that he hide his true self or (at worst) kicking him out under humiliating conditions when they discovered he was gay. To understand the experiences of our queer siblings more deeply, we must listen to “voices long silenced.” Reading their stories is one way we grow in empathy — and imagine how we can personally contribute toward making things right. Typically, my suggested reading for Pride Month inspires a few of you to email me; I welcome and invite responses to Page Turners, and I do respond. However, my response is usually the same: Read the book! And then let’s talk… Happy Pride Month and Happy Reading, Amy Pagliarella Book Review Editor P.S.: Are you ready for GA? Subscribe to the Outlook to stay informed. We're currently running a special where first-time subscribers receive a year-long digital subscription for $9.95. BOOKS OF THE MONTH Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith & Belonging Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez Broadleaf Books, 264 pages Published May 5, 2026 Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez thought he could “pray the gay away.” At age 19, when a pastor-colleague uncovered pornographic pictures of men in his internet browser, Schraeder Rodriguez found himself without a job or home. Desperate, and convinced that the only way to serve the church (and be loved by God) was to overcome his “same sex attraction,” he willingly opted into Exodus International support groups and annual conferences. With a mix of pseudo-psychology and Christian spirituality, Exodus International promised participants that prayer and willpower would make them heterosexual. Conversion Therapy Dropout is both the heartbreaking narrative of these experiences and the uplifting story of a man coming out on the other side — healthy, whole and convinced of God’s love. After a nervous breakdown, suicidal thoughts and more, Schraeder Rodriguez’s participation in Q Christian Fellowship (formerly the Gay Christian Network) offered an alternative. “I decided then I’d stop praying for God to change my sexuality and instead ask for the grace to live fully as I was created to be. No more striving to be something I wasn’t … This wasn’t defiance. This wasn’t rebellion. This was true surrender.” It's hardest to stomach the rampant hypocrisy of institutions featured in Conversion Therapy Dropout. Organizations like Exodus International charged Schraeder Rodriguez tens of thousands of dollars for retreats, counseling, and programs based on fraudulent claims. And numerous churches took advantage of his gifts and willingness to put in long hours, while insisting on “don’t ask/don’t tell.” Most disturbing were the pastors who pretended to seriously reconsider their position on LGBTQIA+ folks, while making no effort to engage in study or dialogue that could lead to change. Schraeder Rodriguez could be forgiven for writing an angry “tell-all.” He was treated abominably by big-name institutions such as Hillsong and Willow Creek, as well as by individuals he thought were friends. Instead, he’s chosen to tell his story with candor – sharing mistakes as well as the high points – always without shame. While many of our churches fly multi-colored flags each June, do we really understand those we seek to affirm? Reading Conversion Therapy Dropout is one way to help us do so, and it could be read in small groups. It’s also a resource to offer a friend who is questioning their own orientation, and it just might convince them of God’s deep and abiding love. Exodus International disbanded in 2013, acknowledging that its methods were both unsuccessful and harmful. But local chapters remain, and earlier this year, the Supreme Court overturned a Colorado ban on conversion therapy for youth. Treating conversion therapy as an act of speech, rather than an evidence-based medical treatment, is an invitation to abuse. Conversion Therapy Dropout may help us understand the painful consequences of this decision, while offering a better way forward. QUOTE OF THE MONTH “[Conversion therapy organizations] taught me that [gay bars] were filled with emptiness, that God’s presence couldn’t possibly be exist among bass lines and flashing lights. But watching hundreds of people find such uninhibited joy, I couldn’t help but wonder: if God wasn’t here, where could God be found? In the church basements where I had spent years begging to be different? In the counseling sessions where I tearfully confessed my ‘failures’ to change? ... The only price of belonging here was for me to be my whole self.” Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith & Belonging Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez Broadleaf Books, 264 pages Published May 5, 2026 Book Giveaway!  Congratulations to Page Turners reader Elizabeth Doolin. Thanks to our friends at Eerdmans Publishing, she received a copy of Better Than Normal by MaryAnn McKibben Dana. Many thanks to our friends at Broadleaf Books, who thoughtfully donated this month’s quoted book, Conversion Therapy Dropout by Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez. One lucky reader, chosen at random, will receive a copy! If you're reading this note, then you're all set! Know someone else who should be reading Page Turners? Send them this link and they'll get entered for a chance to win, too. The contest closes on June 15. OTHER READS Trans Biblical: New Approaches to Interpretation and Embodiment in Scripture In "Trans Biblical," editors Joseph Marchal, Melissa Sellew and Katy Valentine invite readers to see familiar biblical figures – like Jael, Jacob and Mordecai – in new and life-giving ways. Jo Wiersema offers a review. Embracing Queer Family: Learning to Live Authentically in Our Families and Communities Read this book if the transgender community is unfamiliar, and you are seeking understanding. Read it if you want to be a better friend to the trans community. And add it your library of resources for church members who may be wrestling with this reality. — Amy Pagliarella Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians Alfred Walker reviews Art Cullen’s "Dear Marty, We Crapped In Our Nest," a sobering look at climate change, farming and red-state politics.