Third Presbyterian Sunday Morning Bible Study - October 11, 2020

Below is the Bible Study written by Jim Rudiger for his Sunday School Class which meets at Third Presbyterian Church, Norfolk, Virginia. It's based on Ruth 1:8-18.

Prayer

Under the law, what is the maximum penalty for bigamy?  Two mothers-in-laws. Or how about this one.  A man is run over by a hit-and-run driver.  The police asks him if he got the license number of the car.  The man says, “No, but I know who it was.  My mother-in-law.”  The policeman asks, “How can you be so sure?”  The man answered, “I’d know that laugh anywhere.”

Mothers-in-law are a favored of comedians.  No matter how society changes, comics still fall back on mother-in-law jokes.  I have to admit that I had a great mother-in-law and she really liked me.  Jackie always did what her mother wanted, and I think that is the only reason Jackie said “Yes” when I proposed.  How many of you had a great mother-in-law?  There are some mothers-in-laws who deserve the jokes.  But, for every mother-in-law who gives her son-in-law grief, there are ten who contribute to and enhance the marriages of their children.  

In today’s study we meet a woman who sets the pole very high for a loving mother-in-law.  Now I know that some of you women have studied Ruth in your circles, so you probably know a lot more about her than I do.  But, lets see if we can discover some new incites about the relationship between Ruth and her mother-in-law, Naomi,

I’m not going to spend any time trying to guess when this book was written.  For our study we’ll go for about 1000 BC which was at the end of the period of the judges of Israel.  This little book is said by some scholars to be the best short story ever written.  It has everything to make it a good read - tragedy, commitment, devotion, loyalty, love and, above all, a happy ending.  The Book of Ruth was such a popular book among Jews that it was read in the Temple on feast days.  In particular on Pentecost which was the Feast of the Harvest because harvesting plays a big part in the story of Ruth.  

The book of Ruth was written during the time of the judges, and we have studied the problems that the judges had in bringing the Israelites back to God.  Judges had the job of redeeming the Israelites.  In the book of Ruth we sometimes get the idea that the book is about Ruth being redeemed, but actually it is Naomi who is redeemed.  Ruth, like the judges, has the job of redeeming Naomi.  Why did Naomi need redeeming?  Tragic things happened to her and she felt that God was the cause.  in our study we will see that through Ruth’s love and commitment, Naomi comes back to God.

Our scriptures start with verse 8 which is plumb in the middle of a problem between Naomi and her daughter-in-laws.  To find out what is going on, we need to know what happened in the opening seven verses, so, here’s what happened.

The book begins by telling us that all of this happens in the days of the judges.  Judges ruled between the end Joshua and the first king, Saul.  We know the cycle that took place with the Israelites - abandoning God, chasing after idols and God sending a judge to straighten things out. It gets so that you begin to think that’s all that was happening, but there were natural disasters hitting the Israelites at the same time.  As this book opens, Israel was going through a famine.  Bad times weren’t unusual for that part of the world back then.  A drought, a famine or a war was always popping up to make things tough on the people. The story starts out in Bethlehem which was known as the “Bread Basket” because of the fertile land surrounding it. But, now the basket was empty. 

Now, there was a little every day kind of family living in Bethlehem. Things were tough on this small family too.  The father, Elimelech, searched for a way to save his family from starvation.  He tried everything, but, there just wasn’t enough to eat.  Moab was located on the other side of the Jordan from Canaan and occupied what we now call Jordan.  It was a fertile land that produced good crops and the pastures were perfect for grazing sheep. Most important was that Moab wasn’t suffering from a famine. So, Moab offered Elimelech a chance to save his family.  But, it meant immigrating to a land that was inhabited with people who hated the Jews.  What do you think Elimelech went through in making his decision to immigrate to a hostile country?  A country your kin hated and they hated you and your kin in return?  It would be like you or I having to move to greater Pungo.  Have you ever had to move and didn’t look forward to where you were going?  I’m sure Elimelech felt that way as he started packing everything they owned and set out for Moab.

Why was there so much hatred between the Israelites and the Moabites, you ask?  Well, here's how it started.  Moabites traced their tribe back to a guy named Moab.  Anybody know who Moab’s famous father was?  Lot. Yep, the same Lot who had a salty wife.  If you remember, Lot’s daughters got him drunk one night and slept with him and one daughter ended up pregnant.  Her son was Moab.  So, the Moabites are really cousins of the Israelites.  I’m afraid they weren’t “kissing cousins", but more like "fighting cousins."

The dislike bottomed out, when the Israelites left Egypt and were approaching the Promised Land.  To get to the Promised Land, they had to pass through Moab.  The Moabites didn’t take kindly to the Israelites moving into their territory.  As for the Israelites, they were a afraid that their young men would start dating Moabite girls and the girls would entice them to worship their gods.  Girls have that kind of power over guys, you know.  I was a happy young Baptist guy until Jackie came along.  One date and, "Presbyterian Church, here I come."  And that is exactly what happened to the Israelites.  Numbers tells us that while the Israelites were camped in Moab, the guys began to flirt  with the Moabite gals.  The Moabite guys didn’t like this at all.  From an Israelite stand point, their fears came true and these gals invited the guys to sacrifices to their gods and the dopey guys went along and bowed down to the girl’s gods.  For the guys it was just what they had to do to get a date.  For the gals it was winning a new convert - just like what Jackie did.  Because of this, Moab wasn’t on Israel’s favorite nations list.  And now, it was to this country that Elimelech was going to take his wife and two sons.

No sooner do they settle down in Moab, than what happens?  Elimelech dies.  That leaves Naomi, a widow with two sons to raise in a country that hates their guts  Ten years pass and the sons were old enough to take over and provide for the family.  It wasn’t too long before the sons meet two Moabite girls and, sure enough, they fall in love.  One girl was named Orpah, not Oprah, and the other was Ruth.  Generally, for Israelites to marry outside of the tribe was a big no-no, but, there was no law prohibiting marriages between Israelites and Moabites since Moabites were cousins.  So, our scripture doesn’t come down hard on the boys for marrying girls from maybe the worst tribe possible.  The fact that the boys married Moab girls is kind of glossed over in scripture.

Everything seems to be going along great. The sons must have been in their late twenties when all of the sudden what happens?  They both die.  That leaves who?  Only Naomi and her widowed daughter-in-laws.  If things were bad when Elimelech died, they were catastrophic now.  A widow without any family to help her was just plain out of luck.  Now, Naomi not only had to deal with being a widow in a foreign land, but, she has two other widows she is responsible for, too.  Can you imagine what Naomi must have felt trying to figure out what is the best way out of this dilemma?  All by herself with all of these major problems and nobody to turn to for help or even advice.  What would you have done?  Go back to where she still had a family who could help out.  And that is what she did.

Naomi gets some good news from back home. She hears that things have gotten better in Bethlehem.  The famine is over and things are back to normal.  She packs up her stuff and the daughters-in-law’s stuff and starts planning to return to Bethlehem and her family.  Returning is an important theme of the book of Ruth.  Returning to Bethlehem, returning to Moab, returning to the fields.  The idea of returning was a popular theme for Jews.  The Israelite’s exodus from Egypt was really about returning to their homeland.  After they were liberated in Babylon, returning to Jerusalem.  Even the idea of repentance has it’s root in returning.  Repentance is turning back and starting over.  

As Naomi sets out for Bethlehem, I imagine that she was remembering the family she had left ten years ago.  Were Uncle Henry and Aunt Sally still living in that little split-level out on Route 460?  Is daddy’s old house still standing?  Will anybody remember me?  What will they think of my foreign daughter-in-laws?  She had to brush aside these questions because she had to make an even bigger decision about returning to Bethlehem and that’s where we pick up our study.

Ruth 1: 8 But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, "Go back each of you to your mother's house. May the LORD deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. 9 The LORD grant that you may find security, each of you in the house of your husband." 

Both Orpah and Ruth are ready to start out with Naomi.  Both women are loyal to their mother-in-law.  Some where along the way, maybe as they rested one night, Naomi might have been sitting there watching the girls sleep.  Was she being selfish?  After all, Moab IS their home.  They are widows too, but, they have family right here who can help them. To go to a strange land just because I asked them to wasn’t being fair to them.  After a long soul searching night, she sat the girls down and let them know what she had decided.  What advice does she give the girls?  It would be in their best interest to go back to their mother’s house.  Mother’s house? Why mother’s house and not father’s house?  In those days, it was in the mother’s tent or house where weddings were planned.  So, what was Naomi actually telling the girls?  Go back home and get married.  The best chance for them was to get married and have sons of their own.  You see, Naomi’s main concern is that if they went back to Bethlehem with her, the possibility of them getting married and having children was very slim.  This was very hard on Naomi. She was so attached to these girls. She appreciates that they have been loving to her and their husbands, but now they have to look out for themselves. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she kisses them and they weep.

Ruth 1:10 They said to her, "No, we will return with you to your people." 11 But Naomi said, "Turn back, my daughters, why will you go with me? Do I still have sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? 12 Turn back, my daughters, go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. Even if I thought there was hope for me, even if I should have a husband tonight and bear sons, 13 would you then wait until they were grown? Would you then refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, it has been far more bitter for me than for you, because the hand of the LORD has turned against me." 

How did the girls react to Naomi’s advice?  At first her daughters-in-law turned Naomi down and said that they intended to follow her to Bethlehem.  Naomi tells them that they would be better off if they went back to their own people.  In those days if a woman’s husband died, his brother was obligated to marry her.  If she had a child after marrying her brother-in-law, that child would be considered the child of her dead husband so his legacy could live on.  Does Naomi have other sons?  No.  So, Orpah and Ruth, having no brother-in-laws to marry them,  would spend the rest of their lives as widows without children. But, if they go back to their families then there is a chance that they will meet a nice Moab guy, get married and have children.  To Naomi, for them to remarry is to provide them with security in their old age. 

Suppose by some miracle Naomi did marry and have sons, did they want to wait around for about seventeen years until the kids grew up so they could marry them?  After all they would be getting a little long in the tooth by then. Having a baby when your getting old isn’t exactly what she had been looking forward too.  She loves her daughters-in law, but, having a newborn at her age - no thank you.  Do you think most women when they have raised a family, want to start over with diapers when they are in their fifties?  Naomi is right up front with Orpah and Ruth about what lies ahead for them if they stay with her.  And besides, Naomi would be very sad to know that they had given up a chance for a family out of their loyalty to her. This wasn’t the life Naomi wanted for Orpah and Ruth. They are young, probably about twenty six. They don’t see what lies ahead. Just look at Naomi and they will see themselves twenty years from now. A bitter old women who considers that God has turned against her. 

Ruth 1: 14 Then they wept aloud again. Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.  15 So she said, "See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law." 

How did the two girls respond to Naomi’s insistence that they go back home?  Both of them started crying.  How did each girl react?  Orpah kissed Naomi and took off for home.  Ruth clung to Naomi.  The picture I get is that she grabbed Naomi, sobbing, not  letting Naomi go anywhere without her.  Is Orpah the “bad daughter-in-law” and Ruth the “good daughter-in-law?”  Lets look at Orpah for a minute.  Did Orpah love Naomi? Yes.  She cried at having to leave Naomi and she kissed her goodbye.  Was Orpah ready to go with Naomi to Bethlehem? Yes.  She had already accepted going to a new land and never once expressed a wish that she stay in Moab. Did Naomi tell her to go back home?  Yes.  And gave her good sound reasons why she should go back.  Did Orpah obey Naomi? Yes.  What more respect could she show Naomi than to obey her and do what she said?  Obeying her is something that Naomi should have appreciated.  It isn’t what Orpah did that makes us question her actions.  It is what Ruth did.  Ruth looked past her own security and comfort and accepted the uncertainty that lay ahead with Naomi.  How does this make you feel about Orpah now?  In the contrast between the two daughter-in-law’s actions, I’m afraid Orpah comes off looking a little bit more selfish.

Ruth saw that Naomi was going into the unknown.  Naomi didn’t know what waited for her in Bethlehem.  It had been over ten years since she had left.  Things might be entirely different there now.  She might be shunned by her family or left to beg in the streets.  Ruth couldn’t live with herself thinking about what Naomi might have to go through all alone.  She loved Naomi too much to think of her suffering without anyone there to care for her.  So, Ruth put Naomi’s needs ahead of her wants.  And isn’t that what love is all about?  Putting someone else’s needs ahead of your wants.  How do you feel when you are able to give joy to someone you love?  It’s not a sacrifice for you because it fills your heart with such happiness to see that someone you love gets pleasure from something you have done.  Naomi tells Ruth to be practical. Orpah has gone back home and that’s all right. So, copy Orpah and go back home, too. Ruth then replies:

Ruth 1: 16 But Ruth said, "Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 17 Where you die, I will die—there will I be buried. May the LORD do thus and so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you!"  18 When Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her. 

Ruth tells Naomi not to press her to leave. She has committed herself to Naomi, so stop trying to send her away. Ruth then expresses her love for Naomi in the words that are included in a lot of wedding vows today.  What are the five things that Ruth promises Naomi that a loving husband or wife should also promise their spouse?

(1) Where you go, I will go.  Are there any restrictions given?  Not a one. It’s not about satisfying yourself.  It’s not going to Harbor Park, but, to a gushy girly movie.  It means I love so much, I’ll not only go to a date flick, but, will enjoy it because you will enjoy it.

(2) Where you lodge, I will lodge.  This means that I want to be with you every minute, while you are doing your thing during the day and then when you sit quietly and look at television at night.  This is the tough part for guys because it might mean they have to hand over the remote.  Of course, it might be that they married a Ruth and she won’t take it.

(3) Your people will be my people.  No matter how dopey some of your relatives are, I’ll accept them.  I’ll gladly become a part of your family.  That carries with it the obligation not to hurt your spouse by putting down Aunts and Uncles she likes just because they are a little weird.  This is about being all in the family in the best sense.

(4) Your God will be my God.  After Orpah had left, in the 15th verse, Naomi had told Ruth to see how Orpah had taken her advice and gone back to her family and her what?  Her gods.  She didn’t say “your gods.” Implied here is that at some point in the relationship between Ruth and Naomi, Naomi saw that Ruth had accepted the Lord as her God.  Now she is putting that acceptance in words.  For husbands and wives it mean that in addition to sharing in your everyday life, I pledge to share in your spiritual life too.

(5) Where you die, I will die - there will I be buried.  Even after Naomi dies, Ruth will not desert her.  She’ll be there to put flowers on her grave.  To remember her and cherish that memory.  And when the time comes for Ruth to go, she will make sure that she is buried right next to Naomi.  For husbands and wives that means that our marriage doesn’t end with death, but expands through eternity. 

To sum up, in every thing that Naomi does, Ruth will be there.  In good and bad times.  Through thick and thin.  Ruth will be there.  That’s a love to base a marriage on.

If the book ends right here, we would like it.  A beautiful way of stating the meaning of love.  But, Naomi still had things to learn.  Although Ruth has made one of the most poignant expressions of love a daughter-in-law could offer to a mother-in-law, Naomi still felt that God had dealt her a bad hand. But Ruth isn't through.  The job of redeeming Naomi awaits.  

We laugh at the mother-in-law jokes even when we don’t think they apply to our own mother-in-laws.  For Ruth, her mother-in-law was no laughing matter.  Loving her mother-in-law meant leaving the security of family and friends and starting over in a new strange place with people who will probably hate her.  We are fortunate that Ruth made this decision because it gives us the blue print for love in our own families.  Whether it is mother-in-law, spouse or Uncle Henry and Aunt Sally, love is such a special rich asset.  To have it is welcomed reward, but, to give it is priceless.

Prayer: Father, burn in our hearts the value of working and building on the love we have  for our families, friends and Christian brothers and sisters.  Amen.